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  • WHAT IT IS........

    Is this.

    "What it is" is a particular favourite phrase of mine. I would consider it to be the second half of "It is........what it is". Said perhaps with a casual take it, or shove it your arse attitude, which I find appealing. Sarcastic yes but fitting when used in collaboration with my lovable yet irascible, spleen spewer, Dylan Moran.

    His vague and rambling demeanor on stage hides a razor-shave, cut-throat wit.

    His quotes: On Berlusconi: "He's so crooked, he sleeps on a spiral staircase. And when he smiles, he gives an Angel gonorrhea" are a but a mere morsel of his excellent stand-up at the Apollo Theatre in Shaftesbury Avenue last night. His vitriolic expostulations on society are simply wonderful. "Man is the only species that the planet is still trying to reject" rings true and some wonderful theories on finding yourself on camera, alone in the back of the a taxi, possibly juggling excrement, are memorable. And if you can pause there for one minute and allow yourself that graphic image upload, it jolly well should be memorable.

    Pity I'm too old now to recall further but it's never as funny when somebody tells you a second-hand tale. Besides, my timing is shite and I haven't had a drink yet.

    Like the man himself said, on youth, when a member of the audience said he was 19; he's plucked nostril hairs older than that!

    And sadly so have I

  • SPEEDO MODESTY PANELS

    I need some helpful advice bloggers

    Whilst idly chatting with BDA (dirty bitch ;)) I have thought of a possible use for my redundant knitting skills.

    Does the panel think that these colourful bobble strips would make effective speedo modesty panels?

    todgers

    A sort of modesty curtain that pins infront of those tight nylon speedos. No debate is too big nor too small for consideration.

    Yes, some people may think I have too much time on my hands and I shan't disagree.....

  • SHAMEFUL - The end of the innocence!

    Do ya think this is sexy?

    Well do ya?

    Not content with scaling mountains and bursting with testosterone, I've been nurturing a secret addiction for all of three weeks.

    Namely:

    WOOL

    Wool 2

    Knitting!!!!!!!!!!

    Not just any old knitting you understand.

    Pom Pom knitting.

    I just can't stop. So I figured I can keep on knitting scarves until they hug or feed (delete whichever is NOT applicable) the world. That is the sort of wanky thing Michael Jackson would have uttered if he was still with us.

    And this is gonna be bigger than........, well,........... Michael Jackson's moon walking and look where that landed him.

    Don't stop til you get enough...........

  • BEN DOON AND PHIL M'CRACKIN

    Desperately trying to ignore my half-century last Sunday, I did this:

    Ben Nevis

    I went up Ben Nevis!!!

    ben_nevis

    And being a sucker for punishment or maybe I was trying to prove a point, I went up Ben More a couple of days later. Both mountains are over 1,000 metres high. Ben Nevis, Britain's highest mountain, is emphasised by the fact that it begins its rise from sea-level on the shores of Loch Linnhe, to tower 4,406ft (1,344m) above the town of Fort William.

    Yes that's about right. I could feel all 4 thousand feet plus in my thighs the next day. So a trip to Edinburgh, and a visit to Harvey Nicholls was an absolute must the following day. I sort of felt like Homer Simpson when he falls from a cliff making those "oohs and aahs" as his poor, yellow, cartoon body hits every jutting rock before reaching the bottom.

    Still......it was a protest climb.

    A protest against senior senility.

    Cheers!

  • B M DOUBLE-SPEW!

    What on earth is that shite?

    That BMW presumptively post strangers' gobs around blogs is a "fucking liberty" (a la Catherine Tate's foul-mouthed gran).

    It looks like a happy scrap book. And since I gave up pasting into a scrap book before I was 11 years old I'm not happy. Does driving a BMW make the sunshine and instantaneously give you a large brood of extended family members? If that's the message they subliminally wish to convey, believe me, those pop-up, nuisance, family members will all be begging lifts from a car that can never be serviced efficiently because the manufacturers don't understand it.

    "Joy is not BMW" believe me.

    "Happiness is a warm gun!"

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