............................... That makes me feel a whole lot better!

About a month ago a telephone number was published in the weekend times.

This number is called Telephone Preference Services and it works like this:

The Telephone Preference Service (TPS) is the central opt out register on which you can record your preference not to receive unsolicited sales and marketing telephone calls to your home or mobile* telephone numbers. It is a legal requirement that all organisations (including charities, voluntary organisations and political parties) do not make such calls to numbers registered on the TPS unless they have your consent to do so.

So I registered. And it actually works - Hurrah!

This morning I opened a letter from my bank whining about the fact that as I now had joined the happy, few souls on this earth who are not harrassed to death by nuisance calls, they could not contact me without my permission.

How now would they be able to inform me of marvellous new interest rates? Loans or any further assistance I would require. Simple really. By letter.

Besides a debit order comes through on the 26th and is transferred to my bank on 28th of every month. They could really help by making sure that money is in my account.

As I checked my online statement today - NADA, ZILCH, A BIG FAT NOTHING.

A novel idea this but have they thought of making the customer's money available to the customer on time? Surely that would be helpful. And more to the point - provide a service!

I'm sure I'm not the only maverick thinker in this field!!!!

I have just popped back from another web site in great haste.

The reason for that is this man

Apparently he advertises internet broadband.

Why?

Good question.

I would like to beat him to death with a rolling pin.

I don't even bake!!!

Anyone remotely interested in gardening (look away now) will be all too aware of the problems one faces with squirrel proof bird feeders. I can't actually believe I'm writing this shite. Anyway I'm bored and can't be arsed to either get washed or dressed. But back to squirrel proof bird feeders!!! Do they exist? They claim to. However I have just witnessed my neighbour's fool proof method of deterring those tree rats from his tit feeders.

He has just raced outside brandishing a rolling pin and yelling "FUCK OFF"..................

that'll learn 'em!

Tagged by Parsleysage.

Sunday the weather is dire, soggy and miserable so why not.............

Seven facts about me:

1) I once lived on a diamond mine in Namibia where my dad won a pump action shot gun in a raffle!

2) A blue sky can make me cry

3) I'm addicted to chilli

4) I used to hitchhike in South Africa

5) Without music I'm not interested in life

6) I can climb munros

7) I was a passenger in a minor car accident last night and I wasn't wearing a seatbelt

I tag:

Zzzeds
Redbleeder - ova
Ems
Faddy,
Phine
Helly,
Avrilo

Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Well the weather is shite so humour me. Those tagged need to write in their blogs 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You also tag seven others and list their names on your blog. Let them know you plan on tagging them in your post.

With apologies to Elvis Costello........

Carlsberg don't make flower shows but if they did, they would probably make the best flower shows in the world - apart from Chelsea.

Since my foray into bluebells in the buff photography a few short weeks ago, Monty Don and Alan Titchmarsh fought (in a particularly vulgar fashion) for my presence at the Chelsea Flower Show. I didn't really want to go, I have a very important playlist to piece together for Bono (live as God festival) and I'm not very good at pruning. But it would be churlish to refuse. I mean you can get expert advice on how to grow mustard cress without damp cotton wool and improve your cannabis yield by draining your swimming pool and installing infra red lighting.

So tomorrow I'm off meeting a mate at the gates, armed with a packet of soggy egg sandwiches (fart aromas notwithstanding) and a tranparent rain bonnet folded into a concertina.

London life eh - Samuel Pepys said when you're tired of London, you're tired of..........ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

This man's tactics stopped AC Milan's walkover of Liverpool. The same team that whitewashed Manchester United in the semi-final. Kaka was cack and Seedorf was so-so.

We live to play another champion's day

Respect Raffa!

Judges - god lov 'em! Well nobody else does. Except fetishists with a penchant for tight fitting hose, buckle shoes and horse hair wigs. Or maybe it's all that gavel banging. I like banging my gavel. Do you?

Again my incredulity was stretched more times than an elastic band around the postman's letters. You know what I mean. Those red ones. They are all over the pavement - breeding ready to take over from where dog poo left off!

Back though to Judge Peter Openshaw sitting at Woolwich crown court, who said.....

......."I don't really understand what a website is".............

and therefore continues a long tradition of judges who should get out more (VIRTUALLY)!