A kind blogger Dan found this ancient photo of my granddad and sent it on.

The hyphenation was omitted as it was considered far too pretentious.

And in the late 1900s we dropped the last "d", down a hole and couldn't find it.

Yes The Post Office.

I try to avoid it as best I can. Thankfully you can buy stamps at the petrol station, the supermarket and even lap dancing clubs. Very soon all benefits could be POSTED to your home. Or could they?

Amongst other things I thought the Post Office delivered mail. I know you can buy foreign currency, apply for your passport, and pay thingies like tax discs. You can even buy sellotape, pritt stick, and string - how useful. Some post offices have Ringo Starr sounding ants advertising holiday currency. Some of them have passports photo booths which are consistently out of order and some have lovely chewing gum globs patterned into their flooring.

But I'm rather aggrieved. I posted a birthday card (first class stamp - I don't see the point of second class because first is bad enough) to one of my best friends in Hereford. I posted it on Monday evening. His birthday was on Wednesday. He still hasn't received that birthday card.

Yes I know they are out on strike today. They are striking in the face of heavy competition and offers of low pay rises.

I rest my case.

Sorry Reds....................partly stolen from you NOT!

But your boooooooook (to be pronounced "oo" as in poo) ritin skills have given me an idea. You gave us Chapter One, in the beginning. Lashed sodomy streets etc.

So now we need an end.

Mine is "with a sigh of unremitting bleakness Red plucked with a finite dexterity the coarse black hair from the icy cold toilet seat......

The definition of charity: the giving of help, money, goods to those in need.

We all do it.

But there are unscrupulous companies operating under the same banner. Granted their flyers are carefully worded. But quite frankly they are making a considerable profit.

Please see below:

http://www.headington.org.uk/news/items/clothes_collection.htm

Despicable bastards

A&P COLLECTION LTD.
You sent a flyer to my house and I checked you out on the net.

If that's the way these people operate now-a-days, I would rather make the effort to fill a bin bag with goods and take it to my local Oxfam and/or Cancer Research shop on the high street. I appreciate that not everyone has the means to do that but they can be at least aware of the bogus collectors

How I wish this man was still playing tennis.

He played against Goran Even-nicer-bitch in 2000-and-something-or-other. Reaching the finals his aces, lazy lobs and big helpings (I mean servings) almost nearly made him a Wimbledon winner in 2000-and-whatever.

Yes I'm fanatical about tennis.

More balls please

Just a thought.......................

But we've had the summer solstice.

And now the nights are drawing in.................

Ugg boots and mulled wine anyone?

The countries/counties in yellow are the places I've committed speeding offences

What countries/counties have you caused trouble in?

"Sometimes it's the small things that really capture the spirit of the age.

A notice spotted in a London street warning of building work, could be the motto of many large organisations these days.

It said:"We apologise for any convenience."

So it's true then that as you get older the quality you most value is competence!

I wanna wash this month right outta my hair!

I do wish June would hurry up and just "go away"!. The month June I'm on about. I want to wrench it from the pages of my calendar, tear it in half and shove it in the bin.

What a malingering month of mal weather!

Glastonbury anyone?

Wimbledon?..................

Why do we bother? Is it to test the fortitude of our "jolly brolly Britishness! Let's get on with it chaps. It's pissing down with rain, but let's have a jolly old sing-song

I think the Glastonbury festival should be held in Greece. Not really fussy about where - just Greece. One of them islands. They've got loads of 'em. Begins with a "C". Crete, Corfu, Cephalonia.

And as for Wimbledon, well Western Australia would be the ideal venue. It's big, dry and sunny and you could use the kangaroos as ball-boys.

Raining again - I'm gonna rewind myself back to April

Bon Scott.....................

Lead singer of AC/DC before he was found dead in the back of car after hitting the bottle.

Ever since I was 12, I've considered Led Zeppelin to be the greatest rock band in the universe. That opinion hasn't changed a mere 10 years later (a pig has just landed on my garage roof - difficulty with take-off apparently).

Watching the seven ages of rock on the BBC has held me captive for the last couple of weeks. Featuring Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Queen, U2, The Police, and Dire Straits. I did miss the one that featured Jimmy (no-need-for-a-surname-well-okay-then-Hendrix) and I guess that can be perceived as sacrilege or worse. A bit like farting in church maybe.

It's very difficult to find any original talent today that could hold a Jo Malone scented candle to the monsters of rock, without falling into a copycat category. Yes I know there will those people who say Led Zeppelin stole this-or-that from the gospel and blues arena but how can you point the plectrum when listening to the mutual orgasm that is Robert Plant vocals and Jimmy Page guitar strummings. Exactly.

However today I was sitting in an English beer garden waiting for the sun with a cider and a packet of salt and vinegar McCoys crisps (I know, life's hard and then you order another drink) listening to the latest release by The White Stripes. This album is bare, naked blues featuring slide and accoustic guitar with Jack White's sometimes reedy vocals. Not really a wet-patch on the accomplished skills of LZ but remarkably similar. It's great. If you enjoy music that's orginal, this is worth a listen. And "the shiniest shoes in the graveyard" has to be a very original lyric.

Actually I was wearing flip-flops

I have been feeling shite lately and I suddenly remembered
just

how

good

this

song

really

IS...............EEEEE-OH-OH!!

Check out the wife beater vest on Stewart Copeland.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=s5W2Vr6HU7s

Still getting to grips with modern techie stuff so ignore the ancillary shite. It's just the video I wanted.

this is a load of shite

There's a brand new syndrome and it's going around.............

Well Belfast, to be sure, is leading the way with the latest craze - ADPW.

A D P W - ALL DAY PYJAMA WEARING! has become a tour de force for women walking around Belfast housing estates. Time saving and convenient when taking the kids to school apparently more than 50 percent of mums arrive at the school gates in their nightwear. Forget the rollers (that's hair curling devices not to be confused with the ceramic straightners of today) and zip-up bootee slippers from the market. These ladies schlop around in mules, hoop earrings (aka Elizabeth Duke budgies) and silk-effect baggy pants.

A Headmaster (yes we still use this word) has appealled to the pj-posse to show some respect and get dressed before delivering and collecting their offspring from the school gates. It sets a bad example.

I can't see what all the fuss is about myself. Well, I mean fast food emporiums and pubs already promote such things like the ADBS - the All Day Breakfast Scoffing so it was only a matter of time before ADPW followed suit/pyjamas.

Is it me, OR is this an unfortunate name for a lingerie company "Little Women"?

I read this book as a child and there was absolutely nothing in it about refined and delicately-chested women breaking down in cars.........

Had Mr Ford invented the car then, it would have mattered not a jot as I don't think bras where around either. Corsets perhaps?

Hence the name Ford Corset

Christ I'm bored today.......

From this:

To this:

Yes already we have lost credibility. Shameless is to go Stateside. With Woody Harrelson up for the part of our lovable rogue Frank.

I'm fretting already. How does a pint an' an "E" translate across the pond? Will that be a double skinny latte with a vicodin?

Who will they find to play Lillian (milk bottle specs and a nose that looks like sodomised carrot)? That's Bo Selector for those in the "know". Cameron Diaz without the surfboard?

And more importantly will they ever use the "c" word? Cult?

I think not m'lud....................

I have just read that I could probably get pinched for tinted windows now.
In fact the police are wasting more of our valuable time AND even more of our valuable money collaring drivers in cars with tinted windows. They even have a new gadget called TINT MAN.

Surely not!

Tint Man only has 17 hours to save the world!!

This measures the depth of your tint. Anything over Tint Protection Factor 15 (TPF 15) and the cops can order your car off the road. And you can be fined. Just think how useful that is - all those dangerous tint offenders banished off the road. Safe for stabbers, pimps, murderers, child abductors, and paedophiles to go effortlessly
about their nefarious business.

Car in the community - drive the point home.