As the world spins on its axels or whatever - it can rotate on a finger for all I care, a question by a concerned environmentalist caught my eye today.

Bear in mind that whilst monks are being beaten to death in Burma

Gordon Brown and David Cameron are playing the British version of that macho bullshit "face off".......

Further speculation, prodding and probing continues unabated in the disturbing disappearance of the little McCann girl

The paedophile Huntly attempted a pathetic overdose (again).

And Asda are to fine people £60 for parking in a "parent and child" parking bay. They may not have a child but they must have had a parent at some stage!!!!!!!!!!!

What taxes this good citizen?

What keeps this person awake at night?

Simply this: WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY OLD SHOWER CURTAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For fuck's sake does anybody have any suggestions? Please.

So................

How do we know when we are no longer young anymore?

Flailing against the tides of not time but technology. Jargon, lingo, Topshop and terminal trivia. Shite! Serviceless but with a smile. The Happy Eater and Happy Meal, the "have a nice day", and "missing you already" ethos. The "tell-me-how-I'm driving" and the "I'm sorry I missed you" post card.......................are these the tell-tale signs of the irritable old not irritable bowel syndrome? The smiley emoticons and shiftless shite served up via the TV screen.

I found a book today by a certain Mr Christopher Brookmyre. Anyone who has watched and enjoyed LA Confidential based on the novel by Elmore Leonard will know of his dark. violent yet humourous style. He expressed these similar jaded sentiments regarding a world in the grip of service without meaning apart from one expression: Blow job! Thus entitled otherwise it would be called blow hobby and if it was called blow hobby then it would be free to a greater or lesser degree.

You might even consider adding it to the bottom line on your CV.

Ray Lamontagne - I've only just heard about this quietly unassuming New England singer/songerwriter and I'm overwhelmed by the simplistic sincerety of his music.

Naturally being the last to know that Pavarotti had snuff(led) his last truffle or that "all-the-way-Jose" Mourinho had finally put all his eggs in one basket and been fired, I've only just heard his first album "trouble". It's folk music. EEK! I never thought I would express an interest in that category but like everything else......it grows on you. Like mould on cheese left behind the lettuce at the back of the fridge. A little bit Paul Simon, a little bit Jeff Buckley, a little bit Van Morrison but mainly a huge amount of talent lyrically with a vocal similarity to a grit-soaked whisky and honey toddy without the spoon!

The "trouble" with Ray simply put is I need another fix

I'm sure a considerable amount of bloggers have a space on facebook.

I certainly do and it's something I'm not really proud of. You see it smacks of.......well "gettin' down all hip and happenin' wit da kids" or something equally yo
dude-ish or Wheatus-ish. Remember the song, "I'm just a teenage dirtbag - baby"?

If I remember I did actually ask "what's it for" when I was invited. And not getting a satisfactory response joined anyway because I might have something else to play with on the computer. Much to my chagrin I have indeed "mucked abart" with this site but at least I haven't taken it too seriously.....until I started playing the music quiz. Lummy, am I a saddo!? Consumed is not the word. However I was agog to read that "Dogbook" now exists. No! I jest not.

DOGBOOK - for...........................erm dogs!!!

I'm really worried now about placing myself "off the radar" or "under the radar" or whatever one calls it these days, as I really didNOT know until this point that dogs are computer literate.

Question: What is a bastard exactly?

Quite often we ask ourselves hard to answer questions, like, “What is a bastard?”

And as we wax philosophical with metaphysical postulations, incomplete aphorisms, and inconsistent sophisms - Eh?...........the truth slowly dawns that a picture is worth a thousand of 'em.

In this photo below, the guy on the right is a member of a bomb squad in the middle of a deactivation.

The guy behind him.......well, he's a bastard.

But if you try sometime,

You just might find,
You just might find,

You get what you need....................