Before I go any further, I am reminded, always, of the irritatingly deaf old lady in Fawlty Towers. For it was she that has driven me this far. Because honestly having to say a sentence three times is undoubtedly trying.

Three times a charm?

Three times a lady?

Third time lucky?

None of these sadly.

I am reduced to the medium of mime. Sign language with swear words.

At least fuck rhymnes with duck

Bollocks with frolics (?)

And stunt with grunt.

Thank goodness we don't bother with received pronunciation these days!