Summer is here - somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere. So now is the time for all sun worshippers to get your thongs out! Blink and we'll miss the opportunity. I'm not talking those tacky bits of lycra that slice through your buttocks. No, no, no. Those garish nylon strings that draw attention to the fact that your arse is NOT nude. No, not at all! I'm talking about Aussie thongs or in UK speak - flip-flops.

I hate flip-flops. I can't stand a thong between my toes. It makes me cringe and I have always been such a baby about this, until I discovered the "Fit-Flop." It's the flop with the "Fit" that precedes it that makes it suddenly very desirable. It boasts a gym workout in the wearing thereof, so that's me, sold! The soles are based on the MBT (Masai barefoot technology) trainers, with inbuilt wobble board. Inbuilt wobble board? Is Rolf Harris warming up in the background? Yes, check out the the gullible consumer. All thoughts of thong induced, toe tampering have vanished mysteriously. Put on your Fit-Flops and walk around. Within weeks, days, hours, your bum is taught and your legs are gazelle like. Yes that's me: a sucker for vanity endorsed advertising.

I'll take two pairs - sod the cold weather.

Now where did I put my Ugg boots?